There you go again

“Happiness is dependent on self-discipline. We are the biggest obstacle to our own happiness. It is much easier to do battle with society and with others than to fight our own nature.”

Promising yourself to do better, yet again nothing’s happening . Claiming your luck to shine, yet You not shining. Saying it’s a brand new day, yet you are still acting miserable.

Tell me, do you know the difference between self-discipline and habits.

Have you realized, you have no self-discipline. Stop Sulking, are you ready to stop being in denial .
I don’t have to tell you what you need to do.

There you go again living your life worrying about nonsense

There you go again not doing what needs to be done

Manners: Getting Too Comfortable

Don’t get too comfortable with who you are at any given time – you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be.     Jon Bon Jovi

We all get comfortable as time goes by, whether in a relationship or at a job. We plant ourselves to stay comfortable when it’s probably uncomfortable. Don’t sit around doing the same old things while expecting different outcomes. Your actions and attitude affect those around you, take notice to see what needs to be change. 

Do you secretly want something better? 

Are you really taking care of yourself?

Relationship: Just because you’ve settled into your relationship doesn’t mean you can become lazy and stop going out for date nights, and other outings that you used to do together. 

Job: As steady as your job may be, you should never assume your job will always be there; you are not irreplaceable. You should always work towards expanding your abilities.

 Get in the habit of stepping out of your comfort zone by

  • First, stop being lazy
  • Doing something new for the first time
  • Learning a new language, about different cultures
  • Doing something spontaneous, open your mind to different opportunities

An act of Kindness

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.” Princess Diana

Kindness is rare and beautiful, there is no such thing as a small act of kindness. Lead by example, don’t wait till you see someone doing an act of kindness for you to do so. We get so entwine in our own world sometimes that we forget to mind those around us. Learn how to treat others with the love and kindness that they deserve. Human relationships takes time, you can’t build a relationship without generosity, integrity and kindness. Contribute to the kindness that this world is missing.

Because kindness is:

  • being supportive
  • being appreciative
  • being mindful of others
  • being a decent human being

Appreciation

“Recognition is a reward in itself. Any form of appreciation, even a small word, is important.”

Remember to appreciate small moments, like your smile, reading a book, time alone, and sitting quietly. Be your own cheerleader, motivate and appreciate yourself; it’s important to know your worth and be able to cheer yourself up. By now you should know your happiness depends on you.  Its human nature to feel happiness and a new sense of purpose when others demonstrate their appreciation towards you. Lack of appreciation can prevent you from moving towards a positive direction.  Appreciate those around you, and most importantly appreciate yourself. Being appreciative and expressing your gratitude is a significant part of being happy in life.

Who do I appreciate?

Who is always there for me, and how do I feel about them?

What opportunities do I have that I am thankful for? 

What am I taking for granted ?

What’s improved about my life from this time last year?

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” —Mark Twain

Goodbye summer; Hello fall

“You can’t reach your potential by remaining in a past due season. Your breakthrough is coming. Strongholds are breaking. Get Ready!”

Finally fall is here, one of my favorite time of the year, when it’s not too hot nor cold. As I looked back I realized all I did was work this summer, no time for a summer vacation. I enjoyed myself in other ways, by going hiking, trying different cuisines, and meeting new people through writers workshop. Trying different things helped me to be more open-minded and more aware of my surroundings.

It’s a new day, new season, so what are you thinking of doing differently. May this season bring you joy and new beginnings. Get used to falling and getting back up again to find your path to improve. You already possess the tools you need to live the life you want, so do what you must to have a healthy version of yourself.

“Every day, every year, every new season is a reset from the last, and you are still hungry for success, to do things better and better”

Generosity; what goes around, comes around

“If your actions were to boomerang back on you instantly, would you still act the same? Doing to others an act you’d rather not have done to you reveals a powerful internal conflict.”

What goes around, comes back around, we all heard that before, but that has not stop some people from being immoral human beings. Remember Karma, in which some of us believe in. To each of their own I say, but you must remember what you give out is what you will receive in life. But seriously, I get it we all make mistakes, but is it really so hard to be a decent person. Just treat others as you want to be treated. Nonetheless some of us must remain compassionate and generous; that’s one way to be at peace. Do yourselves a favor, don’t take everything personally, not everyone know the basics of building a healthy relationship.

Comfort- Hugging

“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”
― Maya Angelou

A hug, it’s something that is very comforting, a simple gesture that can stop you from falling apart. Sometimes it is the only medicine we need to make it through a tough day. I noticed most people only hugs their significant others, that’s good, but there’s also your family members who might needs you to hug them. We should hold a grateful heart toward the people who are there for us when we need them the most. We don’t always have to use words for comfort, sometimes a hug is all that is needed.

“Hugging: the truest form of giving and receiving.”

Are you okay? Happiness is a mood

“We are supposed to feel. We are supposed to love. And hate. And hurt. And grieve and break and be destroyed and rebuild ourselves to be destroyed again. That is human. That is humanity. That’s being alive. That’s the point. That’s the entire point. Don’t avoid it. Don’t extinguish it.”

Are you okay?…A serious question we don’t take seriously. It’s always the usual “Hey How are you? Oh I’m okay” then we go on about our day without thinking whether we are okay or not. Most of the time people are not curious about you or your life problems, it’s just to start a conversation.

After that conversation, it’s time for you to think about yourself, whether you are okay physically, emotionally and financially. There is no need to play mind games to avoid not being okay. At some point in life you realize it is okay not being okay; that’s just part of living. As I always said Happiness is mood, just like you’re not hungry or sad all the time, you can’t be happy & okay all the time.

What does it mean to live a good life?

What is the best way for a person to attain happiness?

By what standards do you judge yourself?

Are you okay with life?

“If you’re having a bad day, just remember that you have managed to get through every bad day you’ve had. You’ll make it through this one too.”

Observation: Self-Recognition

“The mind is just like a muscle – the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets and the more it can expand.” 

Am I using my time wisely?

Am I taking care of myself physically?

Am I letting matters that are out of my control stress me out?

Am I achieving the goals that I’ve set for myself?

We tend to be critical of ourselves when we do something wrong. In life you can’t learn unless you make mistakes along the way. It can become apparent if you criticize yourself too much, which affects you mindset.  I am sure you hear this all the time “Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” Recap those critics and note your improvements, praise yourself so you can see growth. Understanding who you are and being honest with yourself is the first step to self-improvements.

What could you do all day and not consider it a waste of time?

How do you know when you’re being completely authentic?

What are some challenges, difficulties, and hardships you’ve overcome or are working to overcome?

What advice would you give yourself 5 years ago? 5 years from now?

 “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be where you’ve always been.” 

Tell me something about yourself

The never ending question of tell me something about yourself. There is no right or wrong answer, but you have to prepare for it. Even the people asking you, have trouble answering it. So let’s take a look at how life plays with us.

Job Interview: You know they’re not looking for fun facts about yourself, but you hope you’re saying the right things. Therefore you have to start with your best achievement from a recent role, and what you can do for them at their company. But what do they want?

I began my career in retail management, but a few years ago, I was drawn to the Human Resources, people management. I’ve always been skilled at bringing people together and working towards common goals. My experience successfully leading and managing teams led me to consider HR, and I’ve been building a career in Business management for the last four years.” 

Date: You meet someone who catches your eyes and start a conversation. Conversation between the two of you seems to be going well enough, then you hear “Tell me about yourself.” You have to be careful, because you don’t want to sound like you are bragging. So go ahead and tell them what your hobbies are and what you do on your spare time.

The somewhat truth:  Oh the personal shit we all go through with life. What you are currently struggling with, and how you are progressing in life. More than half of the world is struggling in some ways. So how honest can you actually be without petrifying others, even though they have problems also. Nobody wants to talk about their life struggles.

There are a million answers, because it’s a questions that leaves us bamboozled. Before you answer, you have to ask yourself, “How do I want to expose myself to the outside world”?

Relationships/Connections: Personal & Professional

“Love, friendship, and networking – these are all critical connections and the foundation of a healthy, happy life”.

During College I learned the importance of having a connection and what it can do. Whether if it’s a personal or a professional connections, it matters more than I thought. I realized that we get so entwine with our lives that we forget or unaware of others contributing to it. Nothing should ever be taken for granted, but it happens anyway. The importance of connections is overlooked, a simple “Hey how are you? Or Hey how’s the new job?” goes a long way. I find that most of us are Self-contained, which cause a rift in creating a relationship in the first place. We don’t realize that we are indebted to so many people. Always remember to show and hold gratitude for the ones who makes time to connect with you.

To the person who checks on you

To the person who gave you, your first job

To the person who cares about your well being

To the person who makes time for you

“Real relationships are the product of time spent, which is why so many of us have so few of them.” 

Inspiration: To find your better self

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.” 

Exactly what does it mean to find your better self, and where does one begin to do so. We are all somehow seems to be struggling with something in life. It’s quite funny but not really, we all assume someone is struggling with something because of today’s society, it seems to be inevitable. Whether it’s something big or small, it becomes part of life, how we let our struggles somewhat outline us.

How do you use your mind to nurture yourself?

What helps or give you the strength to be your better self?

What inspires you to do better?

In my life there are many people and things that have been a huge influence on me. Because of those influences I remind myself to be worthy. Your mind can overcome anything, you can’t live in the fear of what if. Whatever inspire you in this crazy life, take advantage of it and keep a positive perspective.

 “Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” 

Appearances: First Impression

“We are constantly reminded about how short life is. Please try to leave your best positive impression on everyone that you meet.” 

Never forget that you only have one opportunity to make a first impression . Everything you do is a representation of yourself, it shows your character. We all love to say “I don’t care what people think about me” believe or not, to an extent you do. First Impression matters, for example when you go to a job interview, you dress professionally and prepare yourself for it. Your words and action shows the world your character. We all judge others based on appearance, because it’s the first thing we notice about a person. Granted we all have off days when grumpiness takes over, but you must still be mindful of your surroundings. Always showcase the best version of yourself, it’s an opportunity to show who you are. Even when nobody is watching, do things to the best of your ability. Remembers action speaks volume, how you care for yourself should always matter to you.

“Our first impressions are generated by our experiences and our environment, which means that we can change our first impressions . . . by changing the experiences that comprise those impressions.” 

Never Ending Child Support= Student Loans

“College students are the type of people society needs to do things such as start businesses, buy homes and cars, invent things and make babies. But, if people are burdened with debt, they are less likely to make those kinds of decisions. Unburden them and the economy will receive the boost it needs to thrive”.

Yes, I know I call my student loans child support and my kid name is Salli Mae. Every student in America has a relationship with her, sadly. After college, I was burdened with student loans to repay, no financial cushion, so working two jobs seems ideal. Everyone knows college students are broke, but yet somehow we are expected to start paying student loans 6 months after we graduate, not after we find a job. Funny, isn’t it? You will magically find your dream job and have money, 6 months after you graduate. I guess this is what my teacher meant by “The real world start after you graduate”. I’m guessing the real world is about debt, low paying jobs, or not being able to find a job after graduation. Most of us are struggling to find jobs in our career field and barely have an understanding of the term of the loans and our options if we are unable to repay.

College graduates are not getting the results that they are assured when they pay their tuition. Unfortunately you may not find a well-paying job and be well-off after you graduate. Reality is most of us realize at some point we have to start making major life decisions. As the years goes by I realize people in my age group are putting off having children, getting married and buying a house. Just like you, I am working hard to pay off my student loans. Prepare and motivate yourself, knowing this is unavoidable.

“Whether we are working to pay off student loans, credit card debt, paying for elder or childcare, or even trying to save for retirement, the idea of the American dream still remains just that – a dream”.

Words: Actions speak louder than words….To what extent?

“Every little word we say to someone, affects them and their actions. And in turn, that someone will affect another; and so forth and so forth”

We all know that the power of positive speech can break barriers and change lives, so what do you think happen with the power of negative speech. Actions do speak louder than words, but that doesn’t apply to everything in life. When you want to see a change of behavior in someone you tell them “Actions speak louder than words. Because they need to show you they can change rather than tell you they will change.

“Why say, “I LOVE YOU.” when actions speak louder than words?
Because…
It matters, that’s why.” 

Words brings out a change in people lives. Others can be influenced by the words you choose to speak. There is a power within positive and negative speech, positivity goes a long way, so does negativity.  Most of us really don’t think before we speak, so remind yourself to do so, because your words whether positive or negative affects the people around you.

“One of the powerful tools that human beings possess is their words. It is said that words are mightier than a sword and that’s true since words are capable of dictating your feelings, behaviors, beliefs and your actions”.